http://youtu.be/3XpmmifCGVI

Most people plan a time to have a baby.  Usually, people plan to get pregnant at a certain time.  Maybe they have a Wedding coming up, or the Summer time is just around the corner and who wants to be pregnant in the summer, maybe you have a trip planned and so on, the reasons people plan are numerous.  For some people the plan works and thats great For Them.  In other cases your plans can be halted by Infertility.  Who would have thought?  Why would "you have" a problem?  It really doesn't make much sense at the time, but there is a God given reason why?  At least that's the best way to look at it (BTW- I see that more now then I did while I was going through it).  For 3 years I ask God Why?  At the time I had a 13 year old son (mine, but not biologically my husbands) so why would I have a problem now? I was 18 years old and it was my first and only time.  Yes, I got pregnant the same time I lost my virginity.  It did not seem fair.  Now, I am married and I should be able to get pregnant. Right?  Wrong.  Everyone has a story about the way they feel about infertility, I for one was very angry.  If my mother said one more time "It will Happen" I was going to snap.  Here I am newly married, blended family with a rebellious teenager and authoritative type husband looking at my son like a "perp".  To boot I was scanning very happy people. Not just anyone but pregnant Women.  Besides that people all around me were getting pregnant.  It was even at  a point that those same people were pregnant a 2nd time and I couldn't even get pregnant to tie my blended family together.  Standard rule of thumb I was told was prior to 35 years old they should try to conceive for 1 year before seeking a fertility Dr.  Over the age of 35 years old you should see a Dr. after trying to conceive after 6 months.  I started trying at 32 but after 3 months I just I asked my Doctor to give me *Clomid.  A medication that help someone ovulate more so on a schedule. They usually start with 50 mg pill for 5 days (my case was day 5-9) of my cycle.  Some Dr.s use a different set of days, but it is usually taken for 5 days.  It is usually only give for a max of 6 months. I only did it for4 months.  The first month (taken during the day- I could have killed my husband with no remorse whatsoever) I developed an ovulation cyst but it never released the egg.  The cyst stayed until my next cycle (menstruation).  When the cyst went away (followed by ultrasound)  I once again started the clomid, this time someone had recommended that I take it at night.  I felt fine...no evil thoughts this time but got my period.  Well 2 more rounds of Clomid and still nothing.  Then the doctor and I discussed (IUI's) intrauterine insemination. Those times Frank had to do his thing in a cup (provide me a semen sample that I could drive to the doctors office drop off the specimen where they at the office would spin and clean the sample with the hopes of inseminating the strongest and the best.  Well after about 10 times, I finally called a fertility specialist from North Shore Fertility.  I was told that the were going to give me a post-coital test which is you have intercourse the night before and the next day the doctor evaluates the woman's cervix to determine how much semen is still there.  Well apparently I failed that test which meant more IUI's.  3 IUI's later I found another doctor.  I don't think he found anything.  If he did, I couldn't understand a word he said so I paid out of my pocket for that waste of time left the building and never returned.  Then I went to a large facility where they looked like they had a pretty decent set up.  I met with the Dr., had a physical exam, blood work, sonogram and then a Consult.  They wanted a few test done.
Typical Testing for Initial Infertility testing:
*Ovulation testing--to confirm if ovulation is occurring by looking though your temperature charts if you have been doing, or using ovulation predictor kits (which I thought were hard to read) and blood tests and ultrasound.  I found asking your Dr. to run a progesterone level 7 days from the time you think you ovulated.  I used the Clearblue easy monitor.  It was consistant. (Except for 1 time)
*Ovarian function tests-- These tests are looking to see how the hormones are functioning and working during your ovulation cycle.  These are usually referred to as Day 3 Bloods which include: Day 3 FSH (measures follicle stimulating hormone), Day 3 Estradiol(measuring estrogen) ultrasound ( to confirm ovulation had occurred) and blood tests to determine the levels of inhibin.
*Luteal Phase testing- Testing will evaluate progesterone levels, more extensive hormone testing, and possibly a *endometrial biopsy.
*Hormone Testing__Most all of this testin will resolve around thorough hormone tests. These hormone test include the following:
**Luteinizing Hormone
**FSH
**Estradiol
**Progesterone
**Prolactin level
**Free T3 (Thyroid Test)
**Total Testosterone
**Free Testosterone
***DHEAS
***Androstenedione 
The following tests are also helpful:
*Cervical Mucous test (This what I failed.  They check to see that the environment is ok for the sperm penetration and to check to see if they survive.
*Ultrasound Tests: Well in this case I would check the endometrial lining and monitor ovarian follicular development and to check the condition of the uterus and the ovaries.

BTW, while you are testing for these needed tests your husband should be seeing a urologist to rule out any male factor problems.

If all of you test come back normal and your husbands testing in normal too there are a few more test we will touch on next time.  

**
Clomid (Clomiphene)
www.nlm.nih.gov
Clomiphene is used to induce ovulation (egg production) in women who do not produce ova (eggs) but wish to become pregnant (infertility). Clomiphene is in a class of medications called ovulatory stimulants. It works similarly to estrogen, a female hormone that causes eggs to develop in the ovaries and be released ...

***Endometrial biopsy is an office procedure that serves as a helpful tool in diagnosing various uterine abnormalities. The technique is fairly easy to learn and may be performed without assistance. The biopsy is obtained through the use of an endometrial suction catheter that is inserted through the cervix into the uterine cavity. Twirling the catheter while moving it in and out of the uterine cavity enhances uptake of uterine tissue, which is aspirated into the catheter and removed. Endometrial biopsy is useful in the work-up of abnormal uterine bleeding, cancer screening, endometrial dating and infertility evaluation. Contraindications to the procedure include pregnancy, acute pelvic inflammatory disease, and acute cervical or vaginal infections. Postoperative infection is rare but may be further prevented through the use of prophylactic antibiotic therapy. Intraoperative and postoperative cramping are frequent side effects.

There is so much more to talk about.  Please comment on some of your experiences if you have gone through some of these tests.  Did you take Clomid? Any side effects?

Talking about Infertility
I have realize first hand how hurtful it could be when talking about a sensitive subject like infertility and at the same time caught myself saying some of the exact words I could not stand to hear.  It's NOT Personal!! But it is difficult.  Check out the website Resolve.org. I did use there information in this article.  There is a lot of information and resources that may be helpful.



When you are experiencing infertility, communicating with family and friends can be difficult and challenging. Even the most caring relative or friend may offer a "helpful" suggestion that will appear wildly insensitive to you.

Here are some tips for talking about infertility with family and friends, if you decide to do so.

• Decide how much detail you and your partner want to share. Respect each other's need for privacy about certain details.
• It may help to rehearse exactly what you are going to say. Decide on specific words or phrases to use, such as of ”infertility” or "we are trying to get pregnant and seem to be having a problem"
• Pick a time to talk when people are not rushed or distracted. Make sure it is a private place where you won’t feel embarrassed to show emotion.
• Explain that infertility is a life crisis, and that 1 in 8 couples, or more than 7 million people experience it
• Let them know how they can support you—whether you want phone calls, questions, etc.
• Explain that you may need a break from family gatherings, and that it isn't about them—it’s about using your energy wisely.
• Tell them that you will share results about a treatment or procedure when you feel up to it, and not to ask about pregnancy tests or treatment results.

The following are scenarios that many of our members have found themselves in and responses you can use when you are asked a sensitive question. 

What they said…
When are you going to stop concentrating on your career and start a family?

Response A:
"I don't believe my job and a family are mutually exclusive. My career is advancing, and I'm very proud of my work. When we feel the time is right, we will consider starting our family."

Response B:
"Right now I have two careers: one is my job which you know about and the other is trying to become pregnant. You probably wouldn't believe how exhausting and time-consuming infertility treatment can be; it really feels like a second job."

What they said…
"You used to talk about combining a career and a family. How are those plans coming along? Will we ever get to be grandparents?"

Response: 
"I truly hope that someday you will have grandchildren. Whether I have children biologically or through adoption, I look forward to sharing that happiness with you."

What they said…
“I wish you'd take one of my kids—they drive my absolutely crazy!”

Response A:
"Oh thanks, then they'd drive me crazy!"

Response B:
"I know that parenting is a really difficult job, but I'm really looking forward to that challenge and experience."

What they said…
“You can always adopt.” 

Response A:
"Adoption is an option I am considering. I have to resolve some medical issues and must grieve the loss of the possibility of not having a biological child before considering adoption."

Response B:
"I have considered adoption very carefully and have decided it is not for me, and am considering a childfree life, if I am unable to conceive a child."  

How to deal when someone close is pregnant “Guess what? I’m pregnant!”

These are the hardest words to hear from a friend or relative. The best you can do with this one is explain why you are unable to celebrate wholeheartedly.

Response A (keep it short and sweet):
"That is great news. Congratulations."

Response B:
"I'm happy for you, but it is difficult to hear when I cannot get pregnant. That is a really tough time for me, so please understand if I am unable to attend your shower or listen to your happy moments. I am working through my infertility, and the pain is still great."

*Maybe it's not meant to be.
*Well, you can always try harder.
*You want kids?  Take mine!
*What do you want a baby for, anyway?
*Don't worry! Just relax and it will happen.
*Why don't you just adopt?
*Are you sure you're doing everything right?
*It's God will...
*Aren't you a little too old to have a baby?
*Have a glass of wine and RELAX...That was always my favorite.

Please keep this in mind when you are talking with someone you may know had infertility issues.  More important, if someone does not have kids, don't inquire about Why? It's not your business.  If it is not brought up to you then MYOB.